I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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