Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
