I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Sober January is a disaster.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
