Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
