Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween

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(831): View more from California

she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.

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(281): View more from Texas

when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer

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(330): View more from Ohio

He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future

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(731): View more from Tennessee

Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.

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(562): View more from California

So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.

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