In the future we'll all be gay
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
