Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
