i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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