Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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