In America we eat man semen.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
