How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize