i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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