But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
