i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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