I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
