My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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