Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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