Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We're too hungover to prance.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize