I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
