glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
