Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
