In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
