You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
