I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If its not for food we ain't going out.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
And then he peed in my hair
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