What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
