Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
