And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
