Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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