I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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