Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
