3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize