Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
