He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You may now shotgun with the bride
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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