So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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