It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize