This girl is more easily done than said...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
