Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize