so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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