Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
