Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
