I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
