It's Friday. Sex?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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