and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
