D3 body, D1 cock
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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