Me too!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You need Xanax blowdarts
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
