you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
