So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Panties = found
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
