dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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