I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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