her vagine was all disorganized.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
