At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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