Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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