I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
