She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
