That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
