My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
