He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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