Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
