More tranny stories later!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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