i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
