one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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